|
|
Post by Don Sims on Dec 20, 2023 5:09:26 GMT -6
News headline about a midget fortune teller who escaped from prison:
Small Medium at Large
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Dec 22, 2023 5:42:25 GMT -6
I used to think I was indecisive. But now I’m not so sure.
|
|
|
|
Quickies
Dec 23, 2023 6:19:11 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Dec 23, 2023 6:19:11 GMT -6
Today, I melted an ice cube using only the power of my mind, just by looking at it.
Took a lot longer than I expected, though.
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Dec 27, 2023 5:51:49 GMT -6
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me that nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace. So I bought her nothing.
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Dec 28, 2023 6:30:56 GMT -6
People who use selfie sticks really need to have a good, long look at themselves.
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Dec 29, 2023 6:14:36 GMT -6
I don't call them New Year's Resolutions.
I prefer 'casual promises to myself that I am under no legal obligation to fulfill.'
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Dec 30, 2023 7:22:19 GMT -6
The inventor of the wind chill factor died recently. He was 82, but felt 64.
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Dec 31, 2023 5:03:08 GMT -6
It's probably my age that tricks people into thinking that I'm an adult.
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Jan 1, 2024 6:14:29 GMT -6
Always borrow money from a pessimist. They’ll never expect it back.
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Jan 2, 2024 5:34:57 GMT -6
I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Jan 3, 2024 6:34:37 GMT -6
Some one just keeps calling my phone, sneezed loudly, and hanging up.
I'm getting tired of these cold calls.
|
|
|
|
Quickies
Jan 4, 2024 6:15:07 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Jan 4, 2024 6:15:07 GMT -6
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
|
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Jan 5, 2024 5:41:31 GMT -6
The future, the present, and the past walk into a bar. Things got a little tense.
|
|
|
|
Quickies
Jan 6, 2024 7:00:18 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Jan 6, 2024 7:00:18 GMT -6
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
|
|
|
|
Quickies
Jan 7, 2024 5:34:33 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Jan 7, 2024 5:34:33 GMT -6
Last night my girlfriend was complaining that I never listen to her… or something like that.
|
|
