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Quickies
Sept 30, 2024 5:12:38 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Sept 30, 2024 5:12:38 GMT -6
Lost my balance on an escalator today.
I fell down the stairs for two hours.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 2, 2024 4:17:05 GMT -6
When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 3, 2024 3:59:45 GMT -6
Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
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Post by abuelobill on Oct 4, 2024 9:14:21 GMT -6
An optimist believes this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist suspects the optimist is right.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 13, 2024 5:32:33 GMT -6
It's the start of a brand-new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 14, 2024 5:26:26 GMT -6
Why are Apple staff absolutely forbidden to fart in Apple stores?
Because there are no windows.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 15, 2024 15:45:21 GMT -6
My friend tried to jump into a relationship with a tennis player, but then she discovered that love meant nothing to him.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 15, 2024 15:46:48 GMT -6
When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 17, 2024 5:35:21 GMT -6
When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 20, 2024 6:36:29 GMT -6
My granddad always used to say "There is no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing".
I say "used to', he got hit by lightning.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 21, 2024 5:24:56 GMT -6
A baseball came through my window today
It really hit home
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 24, 2024 5:33:40 GMT -6
My Roomba just beat me to a Cheeto that I dropped on the floor.
This is how the man vs machine war begins...
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 25, 2024 5:54:23 GMT -6
Every time a bird craps on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I'm capable of.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 26, 2024 6:15:01 GMT -6
My wife texted me that she wanted a diamond tennis racket for her birthday.
I've no idea why she spelled 'crockpot' that way...
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 27, 2024 5:40:09 GMT -6
I heard some pretty juicy rumor about butter. But I decided not to spread it.
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