|
Jokes
Aug 15, 2024 4:51:59 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Aug 15, 2024 4:51:59 GMT -6
**Doctor**: I have bad news and worse news; the bad news, you only have 24 hours left to live.
**Guy**: Oh no, how can the other news possibly be worse?
**Doctor**: Well, I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.
|
|
|
Jokes
Aug 19, 2024 5:02:03 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Aug 19, 2024 5:02:03 GMT -6
Two old men in a pub that have been friends for decades are talking about golfing.
One of them took a drink of his bitter and then asked the other "Now, I know the game can sometimes frustrate us all. But have you ever been in such a deep desperate situation where you got so angry that you picked up your clubs and hurled them into the lake near the course?"
But before the other old man could answer the question, the first said "I know you've had to have done it at least once. Because I found your clubs while I was looking for mine."
|
|
|
Jokes
Aug 21, 2024 4:48:16 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Aug 21, 2024 4:48:16 GMT -6
Three Irishmen are walking home after a night at the pub.
They're all a bit drunk, and decide to take the shortcut through the churchyard. As they pass the gravestones, one Irishman says to the others, "Look at this, boys. Ol' Patrick Flannigan lived 'til 85".
Another of the men says, "Ah, that's nothing. Davie O'Toole is buried here. He lived to be 97."
The third Irishman, a bit farther from the others, says, "Ah, they were kiddies compared to this old gent. He lived to be 134."
The others are shocked and one asks, "What was his name?"
The third Irishman replies, "Miles, from Dublin."
|
|
|
Jokes
Aug 24, 2024 4:24:53 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Aug 24, 2024 4:24:53 GMT -6
Two retirees, George and Sam, have been playing golf every Saturday for decades. Always the same time, same course. They leave their houses at 10 AM, get home at 3 PM.
One Saturday, Sam isn't home at 3 ... nor 4 ... 4:30. Finally at around five he staggers in, haggard, disheveled. In short, he looks like hell.
"Sam you look awful!" said his wife. "I was so worried about you! What happened?"
"It was terrible!" Sam replied. "Worst day of my life. George and I were halfway down the first fairway when he clutched his chest and fell over, stone dead. His heart must have given out!"
"Oh dear," says the wife. "He was your best friend in the whole world! What did you do?"
"What could I do?" says Sam. "For the rest of the round, it was hit the ball, drag George; hit the ball, drag George."
|
|
|
Jokes
Aug 28, 2024 5:04:13 GMT -6
via mobile
Post by Don Sims on Aug 28, 2024 5:04:13 GMT -6
So we've got a couple of Boeing astronauts 'trapped' in space for about 6 months.
Humanity has that same amount of time to buy millions of ape suits to pull off the planet-wide prank on these two...
|
|