|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 4, 2024 6:00:04 GMT -6
There were three kingdoms, each bordering on the same lake. For centuries these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons.
The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with two squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner.
The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon while the squire, using a noosed rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.
The next day the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought. The battle raged well into the late hours but, when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 7, 2024 8:15:14 GMT -6
One gallon of gasoline contains roughly the amount of energy required for a human to live 56 years
Therefore, if you chug two gallons of gasoline you'll never have to eat again!
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 7, 2024 8:16:14 GMT -6
What do you call a bird that has acrophobia?
A chicken
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 8, 2024 5:56:38 GMT -6
"Dad, can you explain the eclipse to me?"
"No sun."
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 9, 2024 6:03:18 GMT -6
My computer program won’t run
Did I need to install legs or something?
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 12, 2024 5:56:51 GMT -6
So I got a virus on my computer
And the thing is, I didn't do anything and it just disappeared.
Must have ransomware.
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 13, 2024 6:55:21 GMT -6
“I've created a new computer that is almost human."
"You mean that it can think, feel and reason just like a human would?"
"No, but when it makes a mistake it blames it on another computer."
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 14, 2024 7:24:14 GMT -6
What unit of energy do you get from beef ?
Cowlories.
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 18, 2024 4:21:10 GMT -6
My computer crashed at work.
Now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening.
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 22, 2024 4:38:44 GMT -6
"Son," I said, "would you fetch me an energy drink from the shops, please?"
"Monster?" he asked.
I said, "No, your mother doesn't want one."
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 23, 2024 5:10:44 GMT -6
What did the computer say to the group of numbers?
I'll Calc You Later
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 24, 2024 5:36:26 GMT -6
When you really have to pee but can't find the energy to get out of bed.
You are in hiburination.
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on Apr 30, 2024 5:43:42 GMT -6
A guy named Bob dies and goes to Hades.
Before him stands the Devil.
"Hello, Bob. Welcome to Hades", the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of Hades and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"
"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob
"Level 1 is the hottest level because heat rises. You would know that if you studied for your science test, Bob"
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on May 5, 2024 6:28:30 GMT -6
Caution! Do not look into laser beam with remaining eye!
|
|
|
Post by Don Sims on May 8, 2024 5:42:13 GMT -6
Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?
It"s called Chirpes.
It's one of those canarial diseases.
Hear it's untweetable.
|
|