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Post by Don Sims on Sept 3, 2023 5:40:36 GMT -6
A Software Developer walks into a bar
Bartender: "you having the usual?"
Software Developer thinks for a while and then says, "Yes."
Bartender: "What took you so long to answer?"
Software Developer: "Sorry, I got cache issues."
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 3, 2023 5:41:40 GMT -6
"Officer, where did the hacker escape?"
"I'm not sure sir, he used the backdoor and ransomware"
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 3, 2023 5:42:45 GMT -6
Two electric car owners were seen today fighting over a charging port.
The police have said it was a charged environment and they will amp up patrols around area.
A lot of witnesses were shocked and some saw someone socket to the other.
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 3, 2023 5:44:37 GMT -6
An elderly classical languages professor goes to Rome for a conference.
He hails a taxi as he leaves the airport, and the driver points to a sign saying "Tell driver your destination". The professor hesitates for a moment. He doesn't speak Italian, but doesn't want the driver to misunderstand his directions in English. Suddenly realizing that Italian is descended from Latin he says, "Adducere me ad Marriott deversorium"
The cab driver nods and puts the car in gear. As he into traffic he says, "Wow, you sure haven't been to Rome for a long time."
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Post by abuelobill on Sept 3, 2023 5:53:27 GMT -6
There was an announcement recently for a lecture on the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. The small print said they could state the time or location, but not both.
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 25, 2023 5:21:08 GMT -6
I was in front of a grocery story, some guy came up to me.
He said "Hey, do you have a moment to help save the environment?"
I said "Absolutely."
So he gave me a pamphlet, I recycled it right away.
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 28, 2023 5:21:06 GMT -6
A programmer is asked by his wife to go to the store
"Go to the store to buy some eggs", she says, "If they have avocados get 6".
The programmer returns with some eggs and 6 avocados because he's a programmer and not a badly written program.
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 29, 2023 5:34:58 GMT -6
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds they found human romaines.
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 30, 2023 5:57:43 GMT -6
Scientists modified bears DNA to make them more human like.
... unfortunately the result was unbearable
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 1, 2023 5:39:22 GMT -6
Why did Isaac Newton change his mobile from an iPhone to a Galaxy?
Because the Apple keeps falling down to the ground!
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 5, 2023 5:25:22 GMT -6
Two admins meet at work
"A friend of mine was able to shut down the main server just in 5 minutes!"
"Wow. Is he a hacker?"
"No. Just an idiot."
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 6, 2023 4:40:11 GMT -6
What is the most commonly used computer programming language?
Profanity.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 7, 2023 6:29:50 GMT -6
I just got scammed by a hacker from Cairo...
I guess you could say I've been E-gipped.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 8, 2023 6:46:31 GMT -6
A computer program required 8 bits of memory
A computer program required 8 bits of memory but the programmer mistakenly allocated space for a 64 bit integer instead
They then tried to rectify the issue by declaring a second 64 bit integer but this didn't have the desired effect
Two longs don't make a byte
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 14, 2023 8:54:21 GMT -6
Three logicians walk into a bar. “You all want a beer?” the bartender asks.
“I don’t know,” says the first logician.
“I don’t know either,” says the second logician.
Says the third logician, “If that’s the case, then we all want a beer.”
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