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Post by Don Sims on Oct 28, 2024 5:05:58 GMT -6
What does PhD stand for?
Fancy Degree.
It's so fancy it's spelled with a Ph.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 29, 2024 5:03:03 GMT -6
What do you call somebody with the PHD in the field of drink carbonation?
A Fizzician.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 30, 2024 4:28:23 GMT -6
Pick up line for astronomers
Baby, the universe starts with "U" "N" "I"
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 2, 2024 13:40:13 GMT -6
Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?
He just needed some space.
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 4, 2024 5:20:46 GMT -6
Right after I got my PhD in theoretical physics, I was able to land a job at Stanford!
My first shift starts tomorrow, after the senior janitor gives me a quick rundown.
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 9, 2024 7:00:58 GMT -6
I have to bring this book about electrons back to the library.
If I don’t, there might be a charge.
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 10, 2024 5:51:33 GMT -6
Where should you go if you want to become a microbiologist?
GERMany!
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 11, 2024 5:29:34 GMT -6
Having a PhD. gains you leverage in online dating
Helps with handling rejections well.
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 14, 2024 5:54:17 GMT -6
A PhD student, a post-doc, and their professor are walking through a city park.
They find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the PhD student.
“I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with a gorgeous woman.”
Poof! He’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the post-doc. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other.”
Poof! He’s gone.
“You’re next,” the Genie says to the professor.
The professor says, “I want those guys back in the lab after lunch.”
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 17, 2024 7:26:16 GMT -6
Friction annoys me.
It's such a drag.
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 18, 2024 5:48:58 GMT -6
So my crush wants a guy with a PHD.
And apparently that doesn't mean pretty huge debt….
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 19, 2024 5:54:52 GMT -6
Even egotists are essentially philanthropists.
They just have a significantly narrower specialization.
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 20, 2024 5:20:34 GMT -6
It is a fact of nature that light arrives faster than sound.
Which is why some people can appear quite bright, until they speak.
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 21, 2024 6:35:26 GMT -6
So, I have this friend who studied to become an egyptologist
The only way he can make a living is by becoming a PhD and teach others to become egyptologists.
As far as I'm concerned, it is a pyramid scheme.
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Post by Don Sims on Nov 24, 2024 6:05:04 GMT -6
(Somewhere in Texas) “This is no longer weather, that’s a demo version of a crematorium!”
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