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Post by Don Sims on Sept 23, 2024 4:46:37 GMT -6
In class, my statistics teacher said, "The lottery is a tax on fools who can't do math."
I shrugged and said, "Heck, anybody can win the lottery."
My statistics teacher smirked, folded his arms and asked, "Do you even know the chances of a person winning the lottery?"
I said, "Yep. 100%. A person always wins."
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 24, 2024 5:05:18 GMT -6
I spent a long time thinking about how to design a system for long-term organization and storage of subject-specific informational resources without needing ongoing work from the experts who created them.
Only to realized I'd just reinvented libraries.
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 25, 2024 5:51:10 GMT -6
Fun fact – did you know that when you take all the nerves from a human body and align them so they’re forming a straight line, you’ll end up in jail for a really, really long time?
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 26, 2024 5:09:28 GMT -6
“Jake, I’m searching for some GDPR specialist, do you know a good one?”
“Yeah, I do, he handled our company website brilliantly, he’s awesome!”
“Fantastic! Can you give me his contact details, then?”
“… Well, no…”
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 27, 2024 5:07:57 GMT -6
I image-googled Rorschach test to see what all the fuss was about. But now I’m shocked.
How can it all be pictures of my girlfriend cheating on me with my dad?
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 28, 2024 6:28:43 GMT -6
Two Statistics majors walk into a bar
What're the chances?!?
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 29, 2024 5:30:08 GMT -6
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity.
I can't put it down!
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Post by Don Sims on Sept 30, 2024 5:15:37 GMT -6
Three professors of logic get on a train in Scotland and take a seat. They look out the window and see a black sheep.
One of them says: "I didn't know Scotland had black sheep". The second one says, rather pedantically, "You only know Scotland has at least one black sheep."
The third one chimes in, even more smugly: "All you know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland that is black on at least one side." Satisfied with the exchange, they sit back in their seats when another passenger, who overheard them, leans in and says: "excuse me, but shouldn't this joke have started with 'At least three professors...'?"
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 2, 2024 4:20:36 GMT -6
Boss: “I can clearly smell alcohol on somebody’s breath!”
-
One of the staff: “Um, boss, this is a Zoom meeting.”
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 3, 2024 3:54:51 GMT -6
I tried to cross-breed cows and hyenas for my PhD thesis. Not such a great idea, the result was a laughing stock for the whole university.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 13, 2024 5:48:37 GMT -6
These days, auto-correct feels like my worst enema....
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 15, 2024 15:55:18 GMT -6
Why did the astronomer take a steak to the bathroom?
Because he wanted a meatier shower.
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 20, 2024 6:35:04 GMT -6
How to get a PhD in Music
In some colleges of music, part of the doctoral requirement is to compose an original full length symphony. Because modern music sounds so weird, a good ploy is to take a well-known classical symphony, write it backwards and submit it as an original work. One student took the daring step of taking his professor's doctoral symphony and reversing it. The student failed to receive his degree. The examiners remarked, "You just reproduced Sibelius' Fourth Symphony with not a single note changed!"
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 26, 2024 6:13:41 GMT -6
And why do you think you’d be academically qualified for this job, Mr Richardson?”
“I possess a degree of intelligence.”
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Post by Don Sims on Oct 27, 2024 5:36:24 GMT -6
I find it so pretentious when students of engineering call themselves engineers…
It’s not like medical students walk around calling themselves doctors, or liberal arts students referring to themselves as unemployed, is it?
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